Recently I got this message:
Hey, (My husband) and I are kinda looking into the houseparent thing...do you like it? Is it worth it? Tell me the truth ;) What do you think about bringing (a child) into that environment?
so I thought I'd share it (↑) & my response (↓):
To start off, we LOVE house parenting, and think it is so great that you guys are interested in doing it yourselves!
This is what we like about it:
--Ministering to the kids-- which is the whole reason we got into this job :), but I will tell you that it is hard to do sometimes. We have a busy schedule (or more correctly, we have 8 busy schedules, plus our own stuff, which makes one very big busy schedule around here), and a lot of daily responsibilities(like meetings, or paperwork, or just general house duties), so we have to be pretty intentional about ministering to them, but when we do get to, when we get to broaden their understanding about God's Word and Christ' teachings, and make it clearer or more practical to their daily lives, it's just so fulfilling! And honestly, I enjoy the day-to-day stuff too where we're just helping them out with growing up. Recently, I helped one of our girls get a job. I helped her fill out the application, pick out her interview outfit, and lent her some of my jewelry, and went over all the interview tips I could think of, and the day she got the call offering her a job at Old Navy, I was SO proud of her! I also got to help one of our boys make his first cake. When the instructions said, "1 cup of water" he got a dinner glass out of the cabinet and filled it with water. I know it may sound silly, but I was so excited inside to get to teach him about measuring cups, haha. Anyway, my point is, there aren't a lot of great momentous steps that you get to be a part of in their lives because they're not always here that long, but if you think you'll enjoy helping them learn and grow in little things, I think you'll really enjoy this job.
Also, another thing I like about this job --the kids-- I don’t just like them, I love them. They are amazing, so witty, and fun, and funny. They’re all so unique, but there is just so much I appreciate about each one of them. I love getting to know them, and talk with them, and just hang out with them. We live in a house full of teenagers, so they can be moody sometimes, but that’s just part of being a teenager. The other part of being a teenager is that they’re starting to sort out who they are and what they believe, so getting to be here and help sort that stuff out with them a little is such a huge honor.
Finally (and again, what I don’t just like, but what I love about this job) --working with my best friend! -- I already thought we had a pretty great relationship, which I think is necessary when going into a job like this, but working and leading a household together has really drawn us together as a team. Before, we were a couple, and we were best friends, but we weren’t really a team working together toward a common goal (an external one anyway), but now that we are, I see how much I need him, and I really see how valuable his strengths are. Most of the time, we work great together, but sometimes, not so much, but I appreciate those times too, because we're learning how to work together better. This job is helping us grow both as individuals and as a couple, and I think that is pretty cool.
Things that aren't so fun, but are also a part of the job:
--Paperwork-- and there is a lot of it. We are doing it every night for each youth detailing their day, we do it for every scrape or bruise, every doctors appointment (emergency, or just checkup), and at end of the month, we write a small book worth of paperwork. It's not that bad, but there really isn't anything enjoyable about it. It's just part of the job.
Also --Meetings-- Some meetings are great, like meeting with your team where we get encouraged and get to discuss new ideas for taking care of the kids, but some meetings are not so nice; some are just inconvenient, like today, Neil and I were giving a tour of our cottage to about 25-30 students from a local school, when a case workers showed up to meet with us and her student, so I left the tour to Neil while I took care of meeting with the case worker. These random pop-up meetings with people that work with the kids happen about 2-3x per week. They're not all bad, and I do appreciate the workers, because I know they are there to help the kids; they can just be really inconvenient.
Oh, and last, but definitely not least --Stress-- Stress is definitely a part of the job. You may have noticed Neil's Facebook statuses, or if you read my last blog post, you may have noticed that I mentioned crying a lot that first month. That's because this job takes some conditioning to get used, particularly the routine and expectations. I recently compared our first month to having your first child - we were definitely sleep deprived, and the daily routine was hard to get used to, we worried about whether we were doing things right, and the kids and their schedules or issues or whatever were constantly on our minds. Exhausted was pretty much the most popular word in my vocabulary for a little while, but even then, I still loved our job, and I honestly never once regretted being here. So, is it hard? No question – I’m sure that no matter how long we do this, it will always have its hard days, but is it worth it? Definitely!
Finally, what do I think about bringing a child into an environment like this? That is a hard one. When we were first interviewing and talking to people in the field, we asked about having kids while working in this job, and got mixed responses. Some couples leave the field because of the troubles with having their own kids interacting with the other kids. Their kids get jealous of having to share their parent’s attention, or the other kids get jealous of the special attention that the house parents’ child/children get. Also, sometimes the kids in care can poorly influence the house parents’ child/children, and couples have felt the need to leave for that reason. But some people have their own kids and do a great job of raising them while working as house parents. We have a couple on our campus that has a daughter that is 9, and she is so great with the other kids. She is so sweet, compassionate, and helpful. One day when one little boy was getting excluded from a game, she went over, helped cheer him up, and began playing with him. That couple really knows what they are doing. I don’t know the best answer for that question, but I can tell you that Neil & I plan on having kids, if the Lord so blesses us, while working as house parents.
If you have any other questions, please don’t hesitate to ask. Oh, and one last thing: if you do start looking into it, I definitely suggest checking out the Florida Baptist Children’s Homes. They really know what they’re doing, and I feel so blessed to be here, but no matter where you look, definitely do your research. Some of the places I originally thought were great ended up not really being right for Neil & me, so I‘m glad we didn’t rush into it. Keep us posted :)
I hope this finds you all doing well!
Jenna
No comments:
Post a Comment