February 17, 2017 Joy through Uncertainty

Hi Friends,

In the past two weeks, we’ve had two ultrasounds. The first caused reason for the second. God sent us a sweet reminder through it, and I just wanted to share it with you all.

At the first ultrasound there were 3 concerns that they sent us to a second, a specialist, for:

1. They saw a cyst in his brain;
2. There was calcium buildup in his heart;
3. And the urinary tract between his kidney and bladder was too small.

At the 2nd ultrasound this past Thursday, they did a full body scan. The doctor told me based on our chart coming in that a slew of potential issues raced through her mind, and she expected to find something, but after the ultrasound she reported the following:

1. The cyst was completely gone!
2. The urinary tract was back to normal!!
3. And while there was still calcium built up in his heart, it was of the slightest concern.

They did a full body scan, and she said, besides the calcium, everything looked perfect, so she had little concern about his health. She said that if everything else develops normally, then the calcium won’t have any negative effects on him (that science has yet detected). Some people are born with it, and carry it their whole life without any noticeable difference. It is still a soft marker for down syndrome so that is still a possibility since they can’t see everything on an ultrasound, but she wasn’t highly concerned based on the lack of other indicators, and since that one is so minor.

Wednesday night, prior to going to the doctor, 2 dear sisters-in-Christ separately prayed for our little one’s health. One friend alluded to, and the other specifically mentioned the verse, Ps. 139:13, and then prior to going in to appointment the next day, my mom texted me that verse. The nurse tech told us that she’s seen brain cysts’ disappear, and gave a reason for the urinary tract to go back to normal, so I suspected it may just have been natural that such happened, but Friday when I was writing in my prayer journal thanking God for the good results, He allowed the verse on the first page of my entry to be Ps. 145:8-9,

“The Lord is gracious, and full of compassion, slow to anger and great in mercy. The Lord is good to all, and His tender mercies are over all His works.”

Just reading that was super encouraging as I was journaling about the results of the ultrasound, but then as I was continuing my entry I turned the page, and on the next page, out of all the possible pages and verses that He could have allowed to be placed there, I saw that same verse I had heard above, Ps. 139:13,

“For You formed my inward parts; you wove me in my mother’s womb.”

I was amazed to say the least. If He could arrange such a small detail as the verse that was laid on that page of my journal, there was no doubt for me anymore of it’s truth in my son’s little life: God is in control of it, and I have nothing to fear.

As an additional interesting note, at the park on Saturday (the following day after writing in my journal, and being thus encouraged), a little down syndrome girl (6-7yo) started playing with Elizabeth, and I got to visit with her grandfather. It was not sought out, and we’ve never interacted with such a child or family before to my remembrance, so it was interesting after everything else we’d been through the past couple days that it happened then. Talking with the grandfather was very encouraging, and even more so was seeing and meeting her. While I’d like to lie, honestly, I have feared the unknown regarding down syndrome, but in meeting them, some of that fear dropped away. I knew I could love our little one still fully; I felt it as I looked at her; I knew I could learn to care for any individualized needs, as her grandfather described some of what he and their family had; I knew that Caleb & El could develop a different depth of compassion for others as the grandfather described how her older sister had, and I knew it would be okay, mostly because, while I know very little for sure, I know the One Who knows every detail of my little one, and just as He has been with me through each step of this past week, He always will.

I don’t know what is ahead, but I am grateful for God’s reminders that He is near, and at work in and around us. I have been greatly encouraged through all of these recent events, and wanted to share our joy through uncertainty with you.

Love,

 Jen