Previously, in a post entitled Types of Children's Homes, I shared about the differences between Christian and Non-religious Children's Homes, as well as the difference between Large and Small Children's Homes. Later, I realized that I had left out one major difference that Neil and I were considering as we looked at the various children's homes: the difference between Basic Children's Homes and Therapeutic Homes.
The first children's home we were exposed to, the one my mother had told us about, was a mild therapeutic home. Through talking with my mom about their ministry, looking at their website and looking at articles I found about them, I learned a lot about their program. It was with that knowledge that Neil and I set out looking at other organizations. As I began to look at organizations' websites, I began to notice differences, but I didn't really begin to understand the differences until I read an article from the Houseparent website that briefly explained the different types of organizations, and then when after actually talking with organizations about their work and ministry the differences became much clearer. Initially, Neil and I were determined to work in a therapeutic home, since that type of home was what initially drew us to consider this type of work, but since having learned more, we have fallen in love with both types.
So that you may better understand, let me explain my understanding of each type:
The most basic way that I have been describing each home is that a Basic Children's Home is a place where minors are placed due to their parents actions, whereas a Therapeutic Home is place where minors are placed due to their own actions.
Basic Children's Homes are, as you may have guessed, places where children's basic needs are met. Children are given a place to call their own in the home, they are given clothes as they have need, all of their meals are provided for, they continue in their education on-campus or at a local school, participate in extracurricular activities, and, most importantly, they are given a safe and caring environment in which to live. Children of any age, infant through 18, may be cared for by the home. A child will stay in the home until one of the following situations allows him or her to leave: the family or guardian resolve the issues that caused their child (or children) to be taken from their home, the child enters foster care, the child is adopted, or the child ages out of the home, which means a child may be in the home anywhere from just a night or two, to the time they turn 18. If placed by the state, the children will have a social worker, and some children go to counseling, although this is determined based on individual needs.
One of the challenges of working with such children is that most children in these homes have suffered a lot of heartache, and may struggle to trust people, as those they previously trusted are not a part of their life as they once were. During a tour of one basic children's home, I asked the 11th grade girl giving the tour what she thought of having House Parents. She told me that she had loved all of the house parents that she had had, but that it was hard, because after she, as well as many of the other children, had lost family, she and the others were in a place where they were supposed to be safe and cared for, but then, after some time, the house parents would leave them too, and then they'd have to adapt to new house parents all over again (the national average stay for house parents in an organization is 8 months). One can easily see why these children struggle to trust others.
A hiring manager of an organization explained to us that oftentimes children take out their hurt on and even blame those working at the children's home for the pain that they have, the pain that was actually caused by their families and others close to them. He went on to explain that many times, the parents will even encourage that idea, and will tell their children not to listen to their house parents or others that are "keeping them away from Mommy and Daddy." The hiring manager further shared that the house parents' caring and loving actions towards the children are regularly rejected, making the house parents job that much more of a challenge.
Another challenge that was shared with us by several people in the field was that we may plant seeds that we will never see sprout in the children's lives, and we will have to know within ourselves that what we are doing is for their good, because times of seeing the product of our efforts rewarded are few and far between.
Therapeutic Homes are homes where youth, and sometimes children, are placed to help them work out personal problems they have developed. These facilities implement treatment plans, as well as regular counseling sessions for each child they work with. The youth have often been diagnosed with an emotional, social, or mental disorder, and often take out their frustrations in extreme ways on themselves and/or on others. Each child has a team of people working to help them, of which the house parents are just a small part. There are varying levels of intensity that each facility is capable of working with. For example, some work with children with mild emotional problems, whom the parents have requested help with, while others take on children who are just short of being placed in a psychiatric ward. Some keep only a few counselors on staff, while others have a full mental health team which is capable of both diagnosing and treating the children. Families are often, but not always, involved in the treatment plan, which may include counseling sessions with their child. Some facilities offer counseling to the parents, separate from that of the child (this is most often found in facilities that use a Family Reunification model).
Some of the challenges that one may face as a house parent in such an environment aren't hard to imagine: verbal insults or threats directed at the house parents, attempted or actual physical abuse to the house parents, the house parents having to restrain a child from hurting themselves or another child, protecting children from running away or attempting to find them (with the police) when they do… on and on and on I'm sure the list could go (Note, some of these same issues could be seen at a Basic Children's Home, but generally not as intensely or often).
A less obvious challenge that one may face is helping the children process through their personal challenges. One facility director described the instance where the house parents were sharing an evening devotion with their house of girls, and one girl raised her hand and asked, "Where was God when my father was raping me day after day after day?" This story not only broke my heart, but also made me realize that at any moment, a child could open up about his or her life, and look to me for counsel. What a great and humbling opportunity that would be, but also at times very challenging.
Those caring for these types of youth also have to keep in mind that any action of a child may be the product of a past action done against them. Often, when one looks at these children, they see the damage that they are doing to themselves and others, but few see the damage that has been done to them. At an all girls therapeutic facility, the director told us that all of the girls except one in their care had been sexually abused. None of those girls were placed there because of the abuse they'd endured, but because they had developed into unmanageable, abusive young women, but the sexual abuse was part of what each of those girls was having to learn to deal with in order to help them develop into well-rounded, emotionally-whole individuals. Actions done against children can vary greatly from emotional or physical abuse, to them simply having been given no structure and too much freedom, or even too much structure and too little freedom. Each of these actions has varying common reactions, and while each child is still responsible for how he or she acts, when dealing with these children, one must not forget that their actions may be reactions to past occurrences. In these cases, simply addressing the immediate behavior may not be effective in truly helping the child.
Many things about Basic Children's Homes and Therapeutic Homes are similar: both care for the basic needs, both deal with children that have experienced things that have impacted the person they have become and the person they will become, and both seek to help the children as best as they can for the time they have them. One of the key differences, though, is the goal that each has for the children in their care. The overall goal for the Basic Children's Home is to provide a safe and caring home for the children in their care during the time they have them, whereas Therapeutic Homes have much more specific goals for each child, but all include helping them work through whatever personal problems they have, and to help them develop into more well-rounded, emotionally-whole individuals.
Like I mentioned above, Neil and I are open to working in either of these two types of homes, and we, of course, see the immense value of each, but being more aware of the various types, we are now a bit more selective of the type of facility we will work for. We've said no to some Basic Care Homes that had goals that we thought were too general, and we've said no to some Therapeutic Homes that worked with children that were dealing with issues that we felt we were unprepared to effectively help.
We are still unsure as to where God will direct our steps (still waiting, waiting, waiting), but although this process has been a long one, like I've said before, I believe the things we've learned though the long wait have made it worthwhile.
Wishing you and yours a Merry Christmas,
Jenna
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